God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
