She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
