4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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