I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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