Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
