T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
