Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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