Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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