I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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