he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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