Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We smell like vodka and hangover
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