Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
