he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
