Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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