this boner is exhausting
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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