i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
