Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
there is glitter all over my balls
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
