Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
