You work out of a Hotel?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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