Only a mothe r could love this liver
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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