it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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