YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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