Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
