a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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