Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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