let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
