apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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