Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
