I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
