I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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