We need to start having sex underwater more often.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
