Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
