I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
