Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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