Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
