I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
