On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
