wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
