Screwed.edu
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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