you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
