i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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