belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
