You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
