You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
