He uses pillows to masturbate.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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