I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize