I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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