lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize