You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
