Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
