My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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