I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
