guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
