and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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