it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
