i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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