Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
handjob tips. give me some.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Holy sore nipples Batman
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
