so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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