I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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