just come out here and I will go home with you...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
