i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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