I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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