So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
